Grief and liberation: How Roger Pua found a renewed focus in life

“I’ve decluttered a lot in my life. To put things back, I am very mindful, selective and critical.”

In a very heartfelt podcast interview, Roger Pua reminds Linda of a very wise sculptor – chipping away from his full life so he can focus and do what truly matters for him and his loved ones. 

In a world that often glorifies constant hustle, Roger’s story is a refreshing take on the power of intentional pauses. As a former corporate leader turned part-time lecturer, he shares his journey of finding contentment beyond titles and achievements.

Roger's decision to step away from a 25-year corporate career was driven by a desire to be present for his late mother, who was battling dementia. In fact, he authored a book, Sundays are for mummy, to share his reflections on his caregiving journey and to help spread the word about dementia.

In one of the chapters, Identity Crisis and Blessings, his words were particularly poignant - “And all of the sudden, I had to confront and face up to one of the most frightening questions in my life. If mommy isn't mommy anymore, then who am I?” His response was clear – spend more time with her before it’s too late. 

Since then, Roger never looked back. He is embracing his newfound purpose juggling gigs that are meaningful to him. He had a very successful run as a work-life contributor at a local news platform in Singapore. As a part-time lecturer at Nanyang Business School, Nanyang Technological University (NTU) this new chapter gave him that “something else” to give back and engage the next generation, while caregiving for his mother then. With this pause, he was clear that he had to let go of his corporate identity and persona. 

An identity dilemma and his advice: “I have spoken to people who have retired, they don't navigate this situation well… ‘I am the CXO of XX’. but I'm like, you're no longer. You've left that behind. So, you have to build on something else. It’s also like, you know I love my bags. But sometimes a bag doesn’t serve its purpose anymore and I have to sell it.”

In his semi-retirement mode, Roger values decluttering his life and enjoys doing “nothing”. At times, he also dishes out his sagely but practical career advice for his young students:

“It's very easy for someone to be lured to glamour and the brand. If this is not what you want to do, then you must go with what you want to do. At the beginning of your career, you have plenty of time to course correct. I'm sure you'll make the right choice, but if you don't, you have time.”

Roger Pua's story is a testament to the transformative power of life's intentional pauses – even in face of grief and loss. He is, no doubt, a legacy by his mother.

In memory and celebration of Auntie Pua (as we would affectionately greet elderly women in Singapore). 

His ways to restore, refresh and recharge during his pauses:

Restore… Heal and regulate body and mind again

• Sleep: I highly recommend a nap (just an hour) a day. Works wonders for my energy level.
• Nutrition: I am watching low density lipids ("bad" cholesterol) like a hawk.
• Health: More intentional about what goes into my stomach, more focused on how my stomach looks on the outside.

Refresh: Gain new perspectives

• Learn new skills: AI prompts (essential if you want GenAI to help you meaningfully) and barbeque on the grill (specialties include steak, salmon and baby back ribs)
• Learn new hobbies: Not necessarily new but I am cooking a lot more these days. We used to eat out 70% of the time, Now it's more like 50%.
• Read: A lot of content are rehashed these days, but I thought Atomic Habits by James Clear was a good read (very effective if you are looking to break bad habits or form new ones)

Recharge! Bring new energy

• Exercise: I highly recommend getting into a regular rhythm here. For me, tennis twice a week (singles for an hour each, doubles two hours each), gym (weight/resistance training) at least three times a week.
• Travel: SIngapore Airlines! Seriously, this is still my favourite airline and I use it whenever I can (between Singapore and San Francisco, two cities I shuttle between). Once a year for the last 25 years, we go on a ski trip in the first week of March (nothing much gets in the way of that) and we usually go to a European ski resort. The last one was Corvarra in the Dolomites (Italy).
• Community: I am lucky I have my people. BFFs, Mahjong 4-some, Family